sad frustration

Now I think, our encounter was fateful one, but it`s undoubtedly true that our relations won`t last is a doom.
I`ve already knew it. I understood it from the start. Though I knew it, but I decided to keep our relationships.
In fact now I`m in a deep confusion coz I think there`s no way to solve this complicated problem...

What I`m talkin` bout, is a connection between Az and me.

Last night, strictly speaking early in this morning, maybe around 3am, I talked wit Michael on the phone.
It`s been a while to talk with him, but we talked naturally as if there was nothing else between us.
In spite of the situation that he was little drunk and I was so sleepy, we could talk seriously.

In our talking, suddenly he said a strange thing.
He said that he went to Roppongi wit Jayce, Az, and his WIFE...

You know I was so surprised, and of course shocked.
The reason why I was become such a condition, was not because that he was with another girl
but because he`d already married wit the girl.

Maybe I`ve never written about the girl on this, but I`ve already known the existence of the girl coz he taught me `bout her, his family structure, his sad fate, everything `bout his secrets before. so I knew but I thought the marriage will be done in the further future. However, it had already done without telling me.

After the call, I typed an email to him and I sent it as I hope that it`s not truth.

But unfortunately, it`s truth.
and I was shocked again.

He said that it happened a few days ago, and as I suspect, he had no choice and had to do it whatever happened.
so he insisted that he didn`t lie to me.
He also said, so he has to accept this sad fate and decided to give up his own freedom.
Of course I don`t want him to do that, but maybe his fate, is, accept, or be killed I surpose.

He`s still not sure what he should do and he`s also in confusion like me, maybe.

Now he seems to wonder if he`ll choose the "double life" what he said to me before or not,
but it means he`ll keep our concern for so long as a extramarital relations.

Probably it`s not good choice to keep this anyway, I think so, but I don`t wanna break up our connection.

Why there's some people who has to stand such a unreasonable circumstance and accept such a hoolish tradition something or such a crazy sad destiny? I really don`t know why.

I`m sooo frastrated against his fuckin` crazy daddy.

anyway, both he and me still can`t find the best way to solve this big problem..



He said that he`ll give me a call today `bout this and Mike and me also promised that we`ll talk on the phone tonight.

Hummmmm... X(
Damn!!