unreal affair

I still can`t believe, you know coz it`s so amazing!
It`s absolutely incredible
that
my phone receive a call, from John.

...isn`t it?

The lucky day was 12th evening so he called me early in the morning, on 12th in NY.
At the moment, I was on my way back home, sitting on the front seat of the bus, starring outside, and watching the rain.
Then I felt my phone`s vibration, and I check it.

The number was started from "+1212---". !?

I`ve already known that 212 is the area code of the states of NY, and I also know that 1 means it was from NYC.
Of course I made friends with some people when I was there, but I was sure that it was from John.

I switched off the phone, turned on, and checked the picture again.
The picture showed me the letters, "voice mail".
He left a message.

"Hi Eiko, it's John in New York... "

It was completely the voice, from my sweet heart, in NY.
I got close to tears, I could think about nothing.
I really can`t explain well what were on my head, my mind then.

He continued,

"I just wanted to call, to say hello, I hope all`s going well,
and um... so you can email me and I`ll talk to you soon. bye-bye... "

I got into a mess after that,
but I decided to send an email to him `cause of my friend`s advices.
I replied to him around 3am though I had some works that I must finish until next day`s afternoon. lol

maybe I do not tell yet but I actually made up with Micheal a few days ago.
I`ve not been able to get any contacts from Az so I decided all in all.

But... he came into my heart again.
what does he want..?
To be honest I want him to keep a kind of love to me, but I know it`s merely my ego so I can`t force him to do so.
but if he still wants to do, what I have to do next?

Should I break up with Mike again?
Should I contact to Az in spite of the dangerous situation?
Should I keep my feelin that I almost forgot.. no it`s not right.. strictly speaking, the feeling what I force myself to forget...?

I`ve been trying to findout the answer of the question,
as I`m listening to Susan`s songs what`s recorded in the subway in NY...

I think these days, New York City is calling me again
and trying to pull me out from a kind of my corruption.

anyway I`m looking forward to hear from John again soon.