it's my diary what's written in English. i write everything 'bout me, espesially my thoughts, love, arts, and music. i also show you my photos, drawings, some essays that i wrote, or something. don't hesitate to visit me and to leave your comments. welcome! ;*)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

result of last friday night

all in all, I could come back here safely.
actually, he didn't come up to the bar at the night.

when I arrived there, it was 9pm.
I got a short call from him last night so I suspected he might not come,
but I would love to see him and I went there.

maybe it was too late time for him
or he didn't come because our meeting was uncovered again by somebody behind him,
and he left there quickly to protect me from black men - the guys in his wife's side.

I really don't know what was happening,
and I guess we shouldn't meet up at the moment maybe.

but my feeling, you know, it was smashed apart,

I've already known that I should not do that because of the danger.
that is not a joke, and real danger, I know the fact.
and I also know that he's also the man who's belong to that dirty society.

I wish I could forget everything that I had experiences with him before.
I might be able to give up about everything if I didn't have any sweet memories with him.
but, in fact I have, not only one but also many things, includes some emails.

what I should do, is not to see him any more.
but
what I wanna do, is to see him again as soon as possible...

anyways,
I could enjoy the night very much because I could see Syl & her friends
then I could spent a great time together.

Syl tried to cheer me up and I was impressed by her behavior all the time.
she is my real friend.
I spent all over the night together with her and I slept over that night in her room.

well..
it was great but sad night,
and I miss him...

Friday, December 15, 2006

withheld

now I'm still wondering whether I should do or not though I've already made up my mind.
the reason of that, is about HIM - my secret lover.

last friday, I went to the bar as usual with my pretty friend Chiho.
at the time I could see Syl there and I heard that he came to the bar on last wednesday to see me, and had been waiting me all the night. I was shocked and felt sorry for him because maybe I misunderstood what he said on the phone and made him dissapointed.

and I noticed that I wanted to see him real bad,
from the bottom of my heart.

then, last wednesday, he tried to call me again and left a message in my phone.

I know, that I and we should not meet up anymore. seeing him again is undoubtedly a real dangerous game.
but I also know, that we have been longing for coming the day we can meet again though we know that we should not to do that of course.

anyway, I decided to go to the bar and meet up with him today so I can't escape anymore.
I made up my mind because I don't wanna regret about it.
that's why I could decide. I decided just only for that.

I'm afraid but I hope to make it and have a great night together with him.
is it a selfish hope?
am I seeing a sweet dream?
shold I wake up from the dream?

I'm still wondering but I wanna see him that's a really truth.
what should I do...?
someone pls let me give the right answer I should choose.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

amazing girl

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6sfz_amazing-11-year-old

look @ her singing! her voice is incredibly perfect and sooo strong. it's really beautiful.
you will be surprised and almost shocked by her song undoubtedly.

I wanted to be talented, and to be born a girl who has such a great voice..

check it y'all *